Fang's Diary

Fangster, I thought you looked hot in your movie.

Almost as hot as Alan Dambert, *cough, cough^ nevermind...

Hmmm - I'm thinking it's just as well that Fang can't reach
my back garden.

horselaydee wrote:

Fangster, I thought you looked hot in your movie.

Almost as hot as Alan Dambert, *cough, cough^ nevermind...

Hmmmmmmmmm Almost??????????? Wait til you see me dance Babe!!!

You have fish in your garden RC??????? Email my your address & I'll show you the best way to cook ...errrrrr I mean care for them

Anyway latest in the Fangsters life


11^th & 12 July 2009

Another 2 days with Lodger Drifty at home – I kinda feel a bit sorry for her as she does look tired out.Obviously doesn’t have my stamina, she would make a rubbish cat, having to guard the house & be alert all the time!!She couldn’t live with the stress I’m under all the time – just as well I look after her (even if I spend 99% of my time plotting her humiliation)

Fluff – my super sensitive best friend suggested I leave her alone for a few days, & act “nice”

NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I managed to generate a few furballs & even better, insisted on going out, & within minutes of coming back in the house, using the newly cleaned litter tray.

She MUST know her place!

13^th July 2009

Lodger Drifty slept through the alarm – oh it is sooooo funny watching her rushing about, even more than usual!! It’s like a film that has been put on fast forward & of course my cue to become extra specially “loving” HAHA! I follow her about EVERYWHERE (cept in the shower EWWWWWWWW…can’t decide if it’s the water I don’t like, or Lodger Drifty with no coat on) Of course everywhere she went I made sure I was in front going at a very very slow pace.

When she left, she said “I’m so sorry Fang – I DO have to go…I love you lots too!”

Like I keep saying – she is such a mug!!

14^th July 2009

Kept my head down this morning & behaved perfectly – I think Lodger Drifty even made it to work on time.

Made up for it in the evening – kept going down the private fenced path belonging to 5 houses opposite the house, Lodger Drifty is jealous if I go there I keep hear her saying “Fang – will you come back here, you’ll get trapped there by another cat, or the owners of the path” yeah yeah – she’s just worried I’ll find a better lodger!

Spent about half an hour chasing a few bugs about, then went back in & was all lovey dovey with Lodger Drifty – she thinks it’s sweet, but I’m only doing to see how powerful “moth breath” can be!

Do I need to repeat that she really is a mug?

15 July 2009

Spent last night sleeping in the bedroom doorway again but no result.So I just stayed there all the time she was getting ready for work – every 10 minutes of so,she would say “are you hungry – do you want some breakfast??” to which I raised my head slightly, then let it fall back on the floor.I had to soooooooo stop myself from swiping out each time she stepped over me, but the restraint was worth it.Eventually she was about to leave & I slowly walked down the stairs – the look of relief in her eyes!! She put some food in my bowl – I turned my nose up at it.She got a saucer out & put a different one down, again I turned my nose up (by this time using the pefected “poor Fang” look) so she got another one out & put yet a different one down. I ate a small amount of that.Plan worked – she went to work happy & I had a mega buffet all day!!

16^th July 2009

Funny sort of day today – I knew what it was, I’m good at weather so I kept myself to myself this morning.Lodger Drifty went off to work as usual, & I knew a storm was coming, I desperately wanted her to be here when it started.Ohhhhhhhhh not because they scare me, it’s just that they scare her so much!! It’s so funny!!! Slightest rumble, or even better a real big crack of thunder & lightening she does a real squeak crossed with wimper crossed with aghhhhh.I so struggle to keep a straight face!She sits halfway up the stairs & I sit in the bay window watching it – drives her nuts! Oh well her co – workers will get the entertainment today!

She came home after the storm had stopped (bugger!!) & later that evening she went to get something from the chinese takeaway round the corner.

Well she should have taken the hint that I didn’t like the smell of it (& I ALWAYS sit by her when she eats- but not this time!) I know where she’ll be spending most of the night!

Details to follow………..

:fang:

I can see your little er, I mean big, brain working now!!!

Of course FC - you should read my upcoming diary for the details!!

Hmmmmmmm & just for HL & to prove that I am Hawwwwt ( you realise at that time I had to shave myself & go to the gym...& as for poor Fluff - we had to stand outside the gym until a suitable body come out for us to "takeover" - Just call me Dr Fangkenstein!)

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/V9iCSNK2NjEza9AT

:lovepant:

HEHEHEHEHE!! Lodger Drifty will kill me for posting my diary now! (Noone tell her!!!!)
I knew that chinese takeaway was bad news!!!


17^th July 2009

Well I was right! I deliberately lay in the doorway again, just to monitor it! Oh I think it started at about 3am(ish) – Lodger Drifty had been rolling over & over in her sleep then suddenly got out of bed – well the walk I can best describe as a duck doing pelvic floor exercises! (I use Catapedia a lot !I know a lot about a lot of things!) I decided to stay out of the way at that point – who needs to be covered in slurry???? Next thing I heard was “Oh god” …hmmmmm funny that is the only time she mentions deities…followed by the furball noise. I thought that would be a good time to wander in the bathroon & demand food LOL – yep it set her off again!

Well she managed to crawl back into bed, groaning a lot for the rest of the night.

She got up in the morning & certainly had a green tinge to her, then that WOMAN turned up with scissors & cut Lodger Drifty’s fur (I hid….scissors nooooooooooooo wayyyyyyyyyy)

Lodger Drifty went back to bed after that & stayed there most of the day, got up a couple of times, but returned to bed! No fun!!!!!

18^th July 2009

Hmmmmmmm…Lodger Drifty was still sleeping at 9am after all that sleep yesterday! See told you she wouldn’t handle the stress of my job.I can sleep all day, but I’m still alert & protecting the house!

I woke her gently (she thought it was cute…I was protecting my fur in case of bodily fluids being projected!!) & I needed food!!! I decided not to follow her in the bathroom, but was interested to hear that the shower wasn’t sounding as powerful as usual.LMAO – she had to have a cold shower because the water pressure was down – well it was more of a dribble than a shower, but, knowing Lodger Drifty, & I have to admit, she is a very clean lodger, she would put up with the trickling cold shower (& be very very unhappy!) I stayed out the way sniggering!

She went off to do a BIG shop – that’s great! She dumps loads of bags of “stuff” through the door & I get to inspect them & dismiss certain bags as she collects the others from the car! Wonder if she has ever spotted my “testing” of the meat products!!!



HA – not in a million years .. she is still a mug!!!

WOW! Poor Drifty! Sounds like a rough time. You should be kind to her and take her lots of little presents!!

Poor Adrift - Sounds like my fellow Brit should leave certain
foods alone !

Yes Fang - I do have fish in my back garden - but you wouldn't
be interested in them - they are only little things - wouldn't even
fill a mouse - if mouse ate fish. Anyway - you would have to get
very wet in order to catch them !

Fang wrote:

Of course FC - you should read my upcoming diary for the details!!

Hmmmmmmm & just for HL & to prove that I am Hawwwwt ( you realise at that time I had to shave myself & go to the gym...& as for poor Fluff - we had to stand outside the gym until a suitable body come out for us to "takeover" - Just call me Dr Fangkenstein!)

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/V9iCSNK2NjEza9AT

WOW! Fang and Fluff......................who would have thought............

Well Fluff & myself took it very serious, even when we had to be filmed doing the same dance over & over again, so they could show it as more than 2 of us!
Lodger Drifty was a bit suspicious a few minutes ago when I sneaked upstairs & she caught me in mid shaving body for FC! No probs though- I dropped the razor & played with it on the floor with my paw! I got the usual response "Awwwwwwwwww, but no Fang...you might hurt youself!!" as she picked it up & put it "out of my reach" again
Like I said - she really is a mug!!!

:fang:

Ladieeeeeeeeeees! *ooo I am still recovering from the party*
Just a quick update! Parteeeeeeeee carried on til yesterday, although a certain young lady still popped round to see me last night! Hmmmmmmm....methinks she is getting a little too attached to me (hey - I'm a love 'em & leave 'em kinda guy!)
Taught her well though, she's learned to dig her claws into the carpet when LD tries to pick her up & put her back outside...& oh the speed she gets back in the house before LD has turned round.Oh what to do...I don't want to break her heart....so I tried my "cool & not interested" look.(OK it does look like I'm hiding behind LD's rucksack...but it's just a ruse!)

Ooh, Fang, what's this certain young lady's name? She definitely is a looker! Reminds me a bit of Jewel our neighbor kitty, but Jewel doesn't have white on her face. And who's that back in the corner by the tapes/dvd's?

So when's the next party? Sounds like your BDay party went quite well.

Who is the 3rd little kitty there tucked in the corner?? Looks like the two of you got a little busy!!!

Fangster! You are quite the laydee's man indeed!!!! Your latest admirer looks like she is playing a little hard to get herself!!

You are smart to play it cool and act like you are'nt too interested...That is probably why she keeps coming back! We all like the bad boys deep down~!

Yes, and who is the tiny one there in the corner? Is he a friend of spidey's?

I noticed that little face tucked away in that corner
too. Couldn't decide if it was real or not ! lol

Looks to me like Fang was doing a little bit of photoshopping :fang:

:fang: Ah well!!

Sky - next parteeeeeeeeeee will be as soon as I can persuade LD to go away for a few days - she was a bit sus by the mess left, but convinced herself she had made it before she went to bed (I keep telling you...she is such a mug!!) As for the ladieees name, hmmmmmmm, not sure,I think she did tell me!
LD might know?

HL Babeeeeeeeeeee, I'm always cool you should know that sweetheart (pstttttttt a to Mr HL )

Auntie FC... - as if you could think your nephew would get up to "naughties"........................................................................................................


Oh & RC...you do realise Bun & I have been on Furry Pet Messenger, we are having a Parteeeeeeeeeeee at your house in the very near future (not gonna tell you the date though!!)


And to put you ALL out of your misery, lil cat in the corner was Fluff in disguise - I can't be doing with LD kidnapping him again!!

Why did noone mention the Jug btw??

By "jug" do you mean that cylinder looking thing???

(we were afraid to ask )

Nephew or not - all males get into naughties! Am I right??

Yeah, I wasn't quite sure what the jug was for or what might be in it...................

Calling FANG and Drifty..................we're sending the kitty posse out for both of you..........

OMG!!

Stop killing me with cute kittys!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT YEAH!!!

Come out, come out wherever you are!!!!!

We miss you

Where IS FANG???!!!

I guess off with Adrift somewhere

:fang: Ladieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees :confetti:

How have you all been? I knew you'd be missing me

I've been kept a little busy by a certain lady, oh yes & driving LD nuts hehe! I sort of broke the electronic catflap playing "Bash Stig (thug cat) on the nose by batting the door while I'm inside & he is outside looking in" - ummmmmmm & I broke the little piece of the door that stops all other cats but me coming in!! Of course this was 4am in the morning so it took ageeeeeeeees (2 mins) for LD to emerge from upstairs.For a change I thought own up to what I had done, but she wasn't interested in the little piece of plastic I was pointing to with my paw - she is so dumb!
She looked out of the window, saw Stig,yawned & told me to go to bed.How could I sleep??? I was exposed!!!!
Well I kept kept pointing to the little piece everytime she was near it, & finally she noticed it the following evening.She picked it up...looked at it quizically, looked all round the room to see what it was from, shrugged her shoulders & threw it away!!!Well from then on, we were getting visits from every cat in the UK...hmmmmmm well that's how it felt to me.
LD looked so confused each time she saw the head & shoulders of a strange cat coming through the catflap, kept testing it..but NOT looking at the broken bit.Finally I added a website that sold replacement doors to her "favourites" How much bigger clue could I give?????
YAY - she checked the door & has ordered a new one!!!
I really don't know what she would do if I wasn't here to look after her!!!!

As for the young lady...I might have to slip her a key collar next time she is here,on the understanding the she texts me first before calling round