Faith In Pilots and Mechanics

RoseCandle · Number of posts: 142 Location: UK Registration date: 2008-09-02

Here's something I hope will make you
laugh - it certainly did me.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
.... Enjoy!

My favourite responses are in italics!!.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. Laughing

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit. Laughing

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed. Laughing

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level. Laughing

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right. Laughing

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. Laughing

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. Laughing

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. Laughing

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did. lol!

Firecracker · Subject: Re: Faith In Pilots and Mechanics Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:19 am

Those are hilarious! I laughed out loud! Thanks for bringing them here! I love you

_________________

"You can kinda just be. Just live your life -- and play." Adam Lambert - OUT mag.

janice · Number of posts: 311 Registration date: 2008-08-09

I loved those!! I'm sending it on to friends to enjoy.

RoseCandle · Number of posts: 142 Location: UK Registration date: 2008-09-02

I'm pleased you enjoyed them both of
you and of course - do pass on to your
family & friends. Very Happy